You wanna do 'franship' with me?
Let's be friends?
BEST friends.
Sound familiar? The above dialogue is from a scene in Tim Burton's (well actually, Roald Dahl's) Charlie & the Chocolate Factory between Veruca the over-achieving, spoilt squirrel loving British snob and Violet, a charming champion chewer of chewing gums who turns into a blueberry. I know, amazingness right?! However, this exchange could have taken place in the real world as well. We all have friends - good friends, bad friends, facebook friends, drunk friends, get out of jail friends, gatecrasher friends, party friends, friends with benefits, study friends and oh wait, I think I've seen the Airtel ad too many times. Next thing you know I'll be singing and dancing an off Broadway theme of how I'm always on Facebook (Vodafone, I know you're here because wherever I go, you are sure to follow - none of the reasons you sing are why I am on Facebook).
In school, we all had *mortal enemies and nemesis..es (plural)* and fighting with them was comparable to the Battle of Middle Earth. Now, we've done our graduation, got jobs and become (as much as I hate to admit it) - Grown Ups. So we don't have enemies anymore. We have frenemies (that's Sex and the City's most valuable contribution to pop culture apart from the fact that a talented columnist writing about her life, friends and frenemies can afford 1,000 pairs of Manolos, vintage Chanels and latest Oscar de la Rentas while living in a rather plush Manhattan studio. You thought I had more altruistic motivations for pursuing this? Like trying to make you feel better. Oh right, that's what I wrote in my first post. You're pretty) now. So who or rather what are frenemies? They're the friends who say things like - "Oh, I love your shoes, it makes your fat ankles look just big boned". Yeah, well you have a fungus the size of your head on your neck. Oh wait, that's your ugly mug face head. So mature I am right? Think - Rachel McAdams in Mean Girls - the ULTIMATE frenemy...until Lindsay Lohan became her frenemy. That movie just works on so many levels. These people declare their honesty by not motherswear (one word) or Godpromise, they swear on Justin Beiber's male vocal chords.
How do you deal with frenemonsters? I know that sometimes (OK, most of the time), I've got it coming, so to speak but I do learn from my mistakes. I alter my behaviour a bit, think more before speaking like my dad always wants me to (his reasoning is the aggressive and irritating way I say 'like' after each pronoun and before each verb. I like can totally like speak normal) and yes, I admit behave like a Grown Up. There's no point in stooping down to that person's level although it seems like the sweetest game to play and I have thought about doing that kind of thing so many times. However, there's no real thrill compared to taking the high road. And I'm not talking about the one in Manali. You wanna know why? Because maturity totally rocks. And passive-aggressiveness? Total mind-funk for your frenemonster. That churlish laughter you reserve for people you look down upon because they don't bite their lip when they say V (elewator - so eloquent, major pet peewe {peeve} for moi) - as degrading as when the shop assistant asks in that patronizing way if you'd rather try a larger size in the sweater you just about fit into after four months of diet and working out (Note to MANGO: You may not believe in vanity sizing but I do! And the customer is ALWAYS right). And you can always make snide and super subtle remarks with your BEST friends because they will support you and your quips. They do not have a choice. They have seen your mind funk, pass-gressiveness and mean laughter, they do not want to encounter that wrath ever. So yeah, there you go - Mean Girls does have an educational lesson. And it's not that Lindsay Lohan was once talented.
One piece of advice about frenemies - definitely NOT blog about it.
This is a work of fiction. Seriously.
Also, since you can tell how well *I* deal with animosity, please send your comments as to how you deal with yours.
BEST friends.
Sound familiar? The above dialogue is from a scene in Tim Burton's (well actually, Roald Dahl's) Charlie & the Chocolate Factory between Veruca the over-achieving, spoilt squirrel loving British snob and Violet, a charming champion chewer of chewing gums who turns into a blueberry. I know, amazingness right?! However, this exchange could have taken place in the real world as well. We all have friends - good friends, bad friends, facebook friends, drunk friends, get out of jail friends, gatecrasher friends, party friends, friends with benefits, study friends and oh wait, I think I've seen the Airtel ad too many times. Next thing you know I'll be singing and dancing an off Broadway theme of how I'm always on Facebook (Vodafone, I know you're here because wherever I go, you are sure to follow - none of the reasons you sing are why I am on Facebook).
In school, we all had *mortal enemies and nemesis..es (plural)* and fighting with them was comparable to the Battle of Middle Earth. Now, we've done our graduation, got jobs and become (as much as I hate to admit it) - Grown Ups. So we don't have enemies anymore. We have frenemies (that's Sex and the City's most valuable contribution to pop culture apart from the fact that a talented columnist writing about her life, friends and frenemies can afford 1,000 pairs of Manolos, vintage Chanels and latest Oscar de la Rentas while living in a rather plush Manhattan studio. You thought I had more altruistic motivations for pursuing this? Like trying to make you feel better. Oh right, that's what I wrote in my first post. You're pretty) now. So who or rather what are frenemies? They're the friends who say things like - "Oh, I love your shoes, it makes your fat ankles look just big boned". Yeah, well you have a fungus the size of your head on your neck. Oh wait, that's your ugly mug face head. So mature I am right? Think - Rachel McAdams in Mean Girls - the ULTIMATE frenemy...until Lindsay Lohan became her frenemy. That movie just works on so many levels. These people declare their honesty by not motherswear (one word) or Godpromise, they swear on Justin Beiber's male vocal chords.
How do you deal with frenemonsters? I know that sometimes (OK, most of the time), I've got it coming, so to speak but I do learn from my mistakes. I alter my behaviour a bit, think more before speaking like my dad always wants me to (his reasoning is the aggressive and irritating way I say 'like' after each pronoun and before each verb. I like can totally like speak normal) and yes, I admit behave like a Grown Up. There's no point in stooping down to that person's level although it seems like the sweetest game to play and I have thought about doing that kind of thing so many times. However, there's no real thrill compared to taking the high road. And I'm not talking about the one in Manali. You wanna know why? Because maturity totally rocks. And passive-aggressiveness? Total mind-funk for your frenemonster. That churlish laughter you reserve for people you look down upon because they don't bite their lip when they say V (elewator - so eloquent, major pet peewe {peeve} for moi) - as degrading as when the shop assistant asks in that patronizing way if you'd rather try a larger size in the sweater you just about fit into after four months of diet and working out (Note to MANGO: You may not believe in vanity sizing but I do! And the customer is ALWAYS right). And you can always make snide and super subtle remarks with your BEST friends because they will support you and your quips. They do not have a choice. They have seen your mind funk, pass-gressiveness and mean laughter, they do not want to encounter that wrath ever. So yeah, there you go - Mean Girls does have an educational lesson. And it's not that Lindsay Lohan was once talented.
One piece of advice about frenemies - definitely NOT blog about it.
This is a work of fiction. Seriously.
Also, since you can tell how well *I* deal with animosity, please send your comments as to how you deal with yours.
Comments
Btw, are you saying that laughing at people who pronounce wrong is mature? Then i'm THE most mature person you'll ever know.