How I received one of the sweetest compliments
Me: ...And that is how I learnt that cleaning between toes is really important.
Friend: How...I mean HOW did we get to this topic? We were talking about...What were we talking about?
Me: Losing weight
Friend: And talking about cleaning your toes seemed like a natural progression to you?
Me: Define natural
Friend: You are the most random person I have ever met.
Me: You are welcome.
Friends: I didn't thank you for anything but okay, I've learnt to pick my battles with you.
Me: I am the queen of the universe and you can't defeat me.
Friend: *long pause* So anyway, I really need to start eating healthier
Me: Yeah, how come? You're already thin. Why do thin people need to eat healthy? You can eat whatever you want.
Friend: Everyone needs to eat healthy not just thin people.
Me: Oh. Does that mean me too?
Friend: Yes, it means you too. Not for any reason other than the amount of sugar you consume plays havoc with your brain and attention skills
Me: Prince Harry is really good looking
Friend: Put the chocolate away. Concentrate.
Me: Ok, I am here. I am not looking at the red light of my BBM.
Friend: So you know the Ex has maybe begun dating again?
Me: GASP. My Ex or your Ex?
Friend: You don't have an Ex. You don't even have a Boyfriend.
Me: Oh yeah, I forget.
Friend: So anyway, Ex may have met someone new.
Me: I has a sad now for you
Friend: Aww thanks. I don't know anything about her, feels weird you know.
Me: Don't worry, I know exactly what she's like.
Friend: Are you stalking him again?
Me: No. It's just like you said - the sugar makes my brain super-awesome and shiny
Friend: Wait, how do you know what she's like?
Me: Wow, curious much? Chill out homie.
Friend: Array! Tell na!
Me: Ok, so she's usually wearing a black bebe ganji with black frizzy hair and black messy kaajal on her round face with frizzy hair and stumpy legs and black osho chappals and black chipped nails and of course a permanent expression of 'I-smell-my-own-bum-and-its-not-Calvin-Klein's-IN2U'
Friend: Hahaha what are you talking about? Are you crazy? She's not like that....is she?
Me: You know when the New Girlfriend played basketball, she kicked it shouting GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Friend:I know she won't be like that AT ALL but may I just say hahahahahahahaha
Friend: Imaging her without a front tooth hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Me: She ate lipstick in front of me to make her lips look redder.
Friend: How...I mean HOW did we get to this topic? We were talking about...What were we talking about?
Me: Losing weight
Friend: And talking about cleaning your toes seemed like a natural progression to you?
Me: Define natural
Friend: You are the most random person I have ever met.
Me: You are welcome.
Friends: I didn't thank you for anything but okay, I've learnt to pick my battles with you.
Me: I am the queen of the universe and you can't defeat me.
Friend: *long pause* So anyway, I really need to start eating healthier
Me: Yeah, how come? You're already thin. Why do thin people need to eat healthy? You can eat whatever you want.
Friend: Everyone needs to eat healthy not just thin people.
Me: Oh. Does that mean me too?
Friend: Yes, it means you too. Not for any reason other than the amount of sugar you consume plays havoc with your brain and attention skills
Me: Prince Harry is really good looking
Friend: Put the chocolate away. Concentrate.
Me: Ok, I am here. I am not looking at the red light of my BBM.
Friend: So you know the Ex has maybe begun dating again?
Me: GASP. My Ex or your Ex?
Friend: You don't have an Ex. You don't even have a Boyfriend.
Me: Oh yeah, I forget.
Friend: So anyway, Ex may have met someone new.
Me: I has a sad now for you
Friend: Aww thanks. I don't know anything about her, feels weird you know.
Me: Don't worry, I know exactly what she's like.
Friend: Are you stalking him again?
Me: No. It's just like you said - the sugar makes my brain super-awesome and shiny
Friend: Wait, how do you know what she's like?
Me: Wow, curious much? Chill out homie.
Friend: Array! Tell na!
Me: Ok, so she's usually wearing a black bebe ganji with black frizzy hair and black messy kaajal on her round face with frizzy hair and stumpy legs and black osho chappals and black chipped nails and of course a permanent expression of 'I-smell-my-own-bum-and-its-not-Calvin-Klein's-IN2U'
Friend: Hahaha what are you talking about? Are you crazy? She's not like that....is she?
Me: She is, you don't know what you're talking about.
Friend: You're saying this? You make up half the words you say!
Me: I'm sorry you said frenemies in you Ivy League College Admission Interview.
Friend: It's ok, I'm over it now.
Me: You know when the New Girlfriend played basketball, she kicked it shouting GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Friend:I know she won't be like that AT ALL but may I just say hahahahahahahaha
Me: True story
Friend: Imaging her without a front tooth hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Me: Yeah, you're up there with ol Voldemort and the Heart Queen from Alice in Wonderland
Friend: I am totally loving this convo. But I don't wish this on him. Ever
Me: It's not about you wishing. These are all facts.
Friend: You say anything to be funny
Me: She ate lipstick in front of me to make her lips look redder.
Friend: I was going to ask if that was you but I know how much your makeup means to you.
Me: It's important because inner beauty is for fat people.
Friend: You're beautiful on the outside
Me: That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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p.s- you do say anything to be funny.