Moderation : The Deprivation of Excess
I recently binge watched Netflix's latest offering - 'Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem & Madness'. Without giving too much away, it is one of the most chaotic and perplexing shows I have ever seen. I believe that I ascended into another reality or dimension altogether. If you're overwhelmed and would like to forget about the ongoing pandemic, this series will not only do that for you but also bring to your life some inspired country music.
When it comes to most docu-series, I don't hit pause till I reach the end. Filmmakers know what they're doing, ending episodes on cliffhangers that leave you wanting more. Added to that is the knowledge that there are memes and tweets waiting to be laughed at (it is most disappointing to power through hours of characters and villains like Joe Exotic and Doc Antler only to have a post on 9GAG ruin the whole show for you). Why wait then?
Tiger King is a seven hour saga divided into hour long episodes. The first three episodes were engrossing. I stopped questioning if these people were real and accepted that America is wilder than the big cats they showed (also that Meth is a helluva drug). By the time I was on the fifth episode (later that day), I had a choice. I could turn the TV off, continue to not look at my phone (that should tell you how hooked I was) read, write, draw, dance, do a one act performance in my room or hey, even talk to my family. I unsurprisingly, chose to 'keep watching'. But the last two episodes didn't hold my attention as much. Maybe it was because they didn't focus on the main feud between Joe & legendary (for all the wrong reasons) cool cat-slash-kitten Carole Baskin or maybe, consider this - after watching for six hours straight, my mind had become saturated even in this new dimension (picture the inverted U shaped curve). At first, watching the show felt similar to eating vast amounts of candy, the rush is heady and you want to continue feeling that way so you eat more. But as you continue to watch and eat those treats, they're not so delicious anymore and suddenly you feel a stomach ache coming on. In my case, I only had a mild headache and the feeling when the show was over was a lot less satisfying than I hoped. Despite all that, I let out a sigh. The show was over. I knew the ending. The emptiness and fatigue were palpable. And then I Googled Tiger King and opened multiple tabs.
When I thought about it further, I realised that my behaviour isn't considered strange amongst our generation anymore. Someone spending hours continuously on a TV programme has become acceptable. It's almost considered an accomplishment to be proud of. Netflix still asks us if we are watching (cue the shame spiral) but when it comes to activities you're doing on your own, who is asking then? And do we even listen?
It could be eating till you're not satiated, drinking cocktails till you're pleasantly inebriated, running till the playlist goes on, watching shows till the early dawn, working till another zero isn't added to your bank balance, scrolling endlessly on Instagram till you're filled with nonchalance. Who tells us when enough is enough? And do we even listen?
Excessiveness not only in what's available but in our behaviour has become commonplace. You can't have one drink, you have to have four. Don't attend a wedding party only for a respectable amount of time, you have to completely physically exert yourself till your limbs don't work the next day (forget about how foggy your brain is). Repeat next weekend. Our attitudes are a clear reflection of this too. 'You can never be too rich or too thin', 'my ex is the craziest psycho you'll ever meet', 'that bar was the sickest place I've been to', 'the food was the most terrible thing I've ever eaten in my life'.
Simply put, we don't moderate.
We seem to be operating on extreme ends of the spectrum. We're either avoiding something completely (carbs) or consuming copiously (gluten free carbs). Any choices that we make today won't have an impact now, it'll be in the future. You can argue with me saying 'YOLO' (because that's accepted in the world we've made today) but the life that we're living once, it should be one worth living, where the future is thought of with both excitement and nervousness, not a life of aches, ailments and abundant anecdotes from living too hard in the past. If you plan to indulge, do it with glee, not with guilt. The more we associate with deprivation, the higher are the chances of future over indulgence.
In her recent article, Harling Ross wrote from the confines of her self isolation that 'without the interruptive necessity of having to go out into the world, each day is free to stretch out infinitely, bleeding into the next, no obstacles or guardrails.' Many of us have made lists - cleaning, cooking, painting, workout lessons - anything that we had put off for or never 'found time' for. The creation of a semblance of a routine. I think it's wonderful to learn new skills especially those unrelated to your professional life. However, it's not just about learning it, it is about mastering it. And then mastering it some more. With immeasurable content available to us, is our inherently competitive nature gaining dominance? Is it a competition (if so, with whom)? Are we so used to being busy that we have to fill our days somehow? Is it too difficult to take a breather and simply relax (with or without screens)? Is that a sign of laziness? Of weakness? Our inability to cope with uncertainty? The thrill of being close to the tipping point of burning out?
It may seem like the world is ending so your panic, frustration and impatience is understandable but now is the time for us to moderate ourselves like never before. Try to exercise the little control you have and not spiral (it doesn't feel good for you or others around you. Also it will not help at all). And if exercising isn't for you, binge watch something.
When it comes to most docu-series, I don't hit pause till I reach the end. Filmmakers know what they're doing, ending episodes on cliffhangers that leave you wanting more. Added to that is the knowledge that there are memes and tweets waiting to be laughed at (it is most disappointing to power through hours of characters and villains like Joe Exotic and Doc Antler only to have a post on 9GAG ruin the whole show for you). Why wait then?
(For further analysis, please refer to previous post)
Tiger King is a seven hour saga divided into hour long episodes. The first three episodes were engrossing. I stopped questioning if these people were real and accepted that America is wilder than the big cats they showed (also that Meth is a helluva drug). By the time I was on the fifth episode (later that day), I had a choice. I could turn the TV off, continue to not look at my phone (that should tell you how hooked I was) read, write, draw, dance, do a one act performance in my room or hey, even talk to my family. I unsurprisingly, chose to 'keep watching'. But the last two episodes didn't hold my attention as much. Maybe it was because they didn't focus on the main feud between Joe & legendary (for all the wrong reasons) cool cat-slash-kitten Carole Baskin or maybe, consider this - after watching for six hours straight, my mind had become saturated even in this new dimension (picture the inverted U shaped curve). At first, watching the show felt similar to eating vast amounts of candy, the rush is heady and you want to continue feeling that way so you eat more. But as you continue to watch and eat those treats, they're not so delicious anymore and suddenly you feel a stomach ache coming on. In my case, I only had a mild headache and the feeling when the show was over was a lot less satisfying than I hoped. Despite all that, I let out a sigh. The show was over. I knew the ending. The emptiness and fatigue were palpable. And then I Googled Tiger King and opened multiple tabs.
When I thought about it further, I realised that my behaviour isn't considered strange amongst our generation anymore. Someone spending hours continuously on a TV programme has become acceptable. It's almost considered an accomplishment to be proud of. Netflix still asks us if we are watching (cue the shame spiral) but when it comes to activities you're doing on your own, who is asking then? And do we even listen?
It could be eating till you're not satiated, drinking cocktails till you're pleasantly inebriated, running till the playlist goes on, watching shows till the early dawn, working till another zero isn't added to your bank balance, scrolling endlessly on Instagram till you're filled with nonchalance. Who tells us when enough is enough? And do we even listen?
Excessiveness not only in what's available but in our behaviour has become commonplace. You can't have one drink, you have to have four. Don't attend a wedding party only for a respectable amount of time, you have to completely physically exert yourself till your limbs don't work the next day (forget about how foggy your brain is). Repeat next weekend. Our attitudes are a clear reflection of this too. 'You can never be too rich or too thin', 'my ex is the craziest psycho you'll ever meet', 'that bar was the sickest place I've been to', 'the food was the most terrible thing I've ever eaten in my life'.
Simply put, we don't moderate.
Source: John Gall
We seem to be operating on extreme ends of the spectrum. We're either avoiding something completely (carbs) or consuming copiously (gluten free carbs). Any choices that we make today won't have an impact now, it'll be in the future. You can argue with me saying 'YOLO' (because that's accepted in the world we've made today) but the life that we're living once, it should be one worth living, where the future is thought of with both excitement and nervousness, not a life of aches, ailments and abundant anecdotes from living too hard in the past. If you plan to indulge, do it with glee, not with guilt. The more we associate with deprivation, the higher are the chances of future over indulgence.
In her recent article, Harling Ross wrote from the confines of her self isolation that 'without the interruptive necessity of having to go out into the world, each day is free to stretch out infinitely, bleeding into the next, no obstacles or guardrails.' Many of us have made lists - cleaning, cooking, painting, workout lessons - anything that we had put off for or never 'found time' for. The creation of a semblance of a routine. I think it's wonderful to learn new skills especially those unrelated to your professional life. However, it's not just about learning it, it is about mastering it. And then mastering it some more. With immeasurable content available to us, is our inherently competitive nature gaining dominance? Is it a competition (if so, with whom)? Are we so used to being busy that we have to fill our days somehow? Is it too difficult to take a breather and simply relax (with or without screens)? Is that a sign of laziness? Of weakness? Our inability to cope with uncertainty? The thrill of being close to the tipping point of burning out?
It may seem like the world is ending so your panic, frustration and impatience is understandable but now is the time for us to moderate ourselves like never before. Try to exercise the little control you have and not spiral (it doesn't feel good for you or others around you. Also it will not help at all). And if exercising isn't for you, binge watch something.
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