Closets & Cabin Fever

My closet isn’t really a closet. I have two old fashioned cupboards that I use daily. They are a smorgasbord of clothes, some debatable, some stylish but all are true to some facet of my personality. Look hard enough and you'll find everything from questionably ethical high street brands to sustainable ethno-chic FabIndia, great finds in Sarojini Nagar to great deals at Harrods. The cupboards were supposed to be - winter wardrobe and summer wardrobe. But somehow, both kept expanding, and let's just say that I am the only one who can figure out what's where and even then, I often end up surprising myself.

People speak about monsters lurking in closets and while I would welcome them if they were cute and hilarious like in the movie Monsters Inc., My closet is haunted by other kind of beings. The forgotten slinky camisoles that sneakily slip into the deep crevices behind drawers. Some accept their fate and lay behind forgotten while others aren’t so benign and prefer to snag on pulleys till the entire drawer is deemed inoperable. The short unforgiving dress which doesn't hide anything - something you bought when you were sure that you'll diligently follow the new workout and diet routine. It hangs there mockingly or encouragingly depending on what you ate that day, always reminding you that you were wrong when you thought that bandage dresses were here to stay. Then there are some things that cannot be exorcised by even the holiest water. Ed Hardy. Need I say more? Really, what were we all thinking? If the tigers and the crystals didn't get you, then you the BIG Polo player definitely would have. Maybe even Three BIG Polo players? Oh Polo isn't your scene either? Hollister? Billabong? Remember when we all thought we should dress like surfers?

A love for clothes, the convenience of shopping online, the thrill of finding a bargain and a generally hasty attitude when it comes to neatness makes for a crowded closet. If mine could talk, it would definitely ask for more space (this may or may not be similar to other situations in my life which further exacerbates my need for shopping). When I see empty shelves in other people's closets, I initially wonder if they have superhuman levels of organisation and then where their second closet is. 

Cleaning out a closet is one of the most time consuming, hair wringing, therapeutic and begrudgingly fun activities that we all have to do. There are moments when you find something you completely forgot about and decide to wear it instantly only to realise why you had stuffed it in the back of your closet in the first place. Then there are some pieces that make you judge yourself more harshly than even sending ill-advised messages. Fortunately, not only did I manage to accomplish this task prior to the lockdown, I even did it by colour. However, the result of my Marie Kondo-ing was a surprising one and revealed that somber clothes gave me more joy. Am I an emo/goth kid disaster? How can it be? I hate Twilight. Are the residents of our closets an accurate descriptor of us? 

I take solace in the fact (and I hope you do too) that however impractical, unattractive or tacky, whatever I find in my closet, it was probably me who chose to buy it and has kept it all this time. Those clothes serve as a reminder to a unique time and a feeling in our lives. Like when I thought wearing bright coloured tights under denim mini skirts was the epitome of fashion. It was a frequent look during my days at University. I still keep a few pairs of balled up tights in a tiny drawer. I am sentimental but I'm also astute. Trends are cyclical and wearing something that is vintage is a thrill of its own. 

Even so, there is no better feeling that an organised closet (especially when the jumbled discards have been locked up in a bulky trunk or ancient suitcase). Full disclosure - I would like to specify that when I say cleaning out or reorganising my closet, I mean that I simply remove, unfold, fold and put back the clothes from two shelves that are at my eye level that require neither bending nor standing on a chair. It's doing the bare minimum like when Indian movie production houses cast an 'outsider' and two star kids or companies decide to drop the word 'Fair' from a skin lightening cream but fail to mention if the marketing or actual ingredients are being modified too.

Owing to a horrific termite infestation years ago, I make a point to not store anything of high value in my regular Little Jenny Humphrey from Brooklyn ply cupboards. Those go straight into darkened and locked up Blair Waldorf from the Upper East Side vault like Godrej cupboards. I hope one day that the twain should meet like Steve and Miranda did on the Brooklyn Bridge in the first Sex and the City movie except that my closet would be like Carrie's (also from the movie, not the one in the show). That's my dream closet. Or the one in 13 going on 30. Or Cher's rotating one in Clueless. Once again, movies have created an unrealistic standard in my life.

During lockdown, I've assiduously been repeating versions of the same outfits. I've graduated from athleisure to laze couture. My pajama shelf has never been neater while the silks, satins and laces look at me longingly and wonder why not only are they hanging limply but also why there have been no new additions especially now that Zara is on sale (cries into my mask). Your time shall come soon too, old friends (formal clothes and currently cold debit cards). 

Opening your closet should be like going to a really good party (which we can't do right now) where everyone you see is someone you like (it could happen). Since parties can (and should) only be virtual right now, hear your closet (it's better than the voices in your head), give it some love and let all those beautiful currently unworn clothes remind you to hang in there too (literally and figuratively). 

Comments

Unknown said…
Great one and so realistic!🥰
Bones said…
Resonating with this !
Yes your cupboard is uncannily disorganizedly orderly !!
Just like life these days !
Wear your best hat ...
And swirl in the skirt
Coz this too will pass
Love
Mom

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